Very Misplaced
by Shadowfoxsama
Summary: Malu was never normal, from unusual birth and now to unusual dimension traveling? Now very Misplaced she comes upon a world that she thought could never exist. Now stuck, she must fight a war that isn't hers. Watch her tear the LotR world a new one 10th W
1. Chapter 1

Sighing whispered through black colored lips, silvered purple eyes looked to the stormy heavens above her. It was storming, the lightening raced across the skies as if in a contest and the thunder rumbled louder and louder, almost cheering the streaks of lightening across the ominous dark blue track. Black streaks of tears stained a doll like face, her large eyes and sooty dark wet lashes looked above. It was the rainy season in Florida. And like usual, the thunder echoed around the late afternoon. And also like normal, she was caught outside, to weather the stinging rain. Her wet black shirt clinged onto her curves like a second skin. Heavy black cotton pants hugged her butt and thighs before just sagging from the weight at her knees to her ankles, staining her white running shoes. She was curvy, a little over weight but still pleasantly curvy. A dark sweat shirt tied around her waist, lied uselessly. In her pale long tapered fingers, she held a red huge backpack, seemingly filled to the brim. 'Thank God its waterproof', she thought with a smile at her forethought.

She walked down the puddle filled sidewalk, heading for her shelter, home. Normally, she would be safe, warm and dry in her mother's van; Nature wasn't kind enough to give her that though. Her mother was now at work, and had no way to give her a ride. And all the others that had the same bus stop, had already left in cars, completely forgetting about her and the past favors of rides she had given them.

"Ungrateful Bastards," she hissed under her breath as she continued down the streets, sulking. Her fists clenched onto her bag, which she had thrown onto her back during her thoughts.

Her name was Malucath Dae…she never quite understood her name. Her mother had given birth, given her a name…and then died. Right now she lived with her adopted family she had been with since a 2 months after birth. The doctors never knew anything about her family or her mother except she was cut down by a sword… and an arrow that was poisoned…obviously some psychopath got a hold of her in a cosplay game.

She snorted. She lived in Lightening Central of the US of A, Florida. More specifically Deltona, Florida. Known also as nowhere. Sighing, she crossed the street and looked at her dark blue eyesore of a house. Fan-bloody-tastic. She grumbled as she went into the covered porch and dug in her pocket for some keys. Finding them, she opened the door and dragged herself in. Promptly removing all wet pieces of clothing down to her underwear. She put down everything and practically ran to the shower, to take a hot shower. Underneath, she felt the cold that lingered in her bones, disappearing, leaving a very happy Malu. She cleaned and then stepped out into the humid bathroom, and pulled a black towel off its hanger to wrap around her body and tucked an end of the towel down her cleavage so it may hold up. Grabbing a brush, she yanked the brush down her shoulder length raven colored locks. Then she pulled the hair back into a ponytail, just off her neck. She cleaned up and went inside her room to dress, until she sneezed….very, very quietly.

"Oh SHIT! I'm going to be sick." She grumbled as she seeked out her over-sized "Otaku" shirt and a purple pair of PJ bottoms that had small red foxes on them saying Foxy on them. Then, a loud crack of thunder could be heard, followed by a yelp. Skittering across her room, she dived under her down black comforter and settled in the bed, sneezing and coughing.

"….I hate you." She growled as she peaked out the comforter and red curtains, at the storm. The thunder cracked again, making her tense and yelp. She then sneezed and groaned in frustration.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck you." Then she curled up wrapped in her blanket…and slept.

The night was peaceful, her parents and sister arrived home and peaked into her room, to see the sleeping Malu, and left her alone to sleep through dinner. The cicadas called throughout the night after the storm had left and the moon shined thoughtfully. The heat steamed all the moisture off the ground, making it humid. But Malu, whose room had no air conditioning, was comfortable in her scorching hot room.

Come time around 4 o'clock AM, an alarm clock screeched with songs of Bodies by Drowning Pool, which had the now poor sick Malu, jump up in fright from the loud noise. Her hand slammed on her alarm and she glared at it through clouded eyes.

"No thank you…I do not need a hint that something is wrong with me." She got up yawning and stretching as the pushed open her door and stumbled into the hall and into the bathroom. She sneezed again and groaned.

"I am NOT missing school, stupid fucking storm." She cursed as she peeled off her sweat soaked clothes. Then, she pulled herself into the bathroom and fulfilled her normal morning routine.

About 5: 30 she heard a knock outside of her door. She looked back from her position of sitting stretch out on her computer chair in front of the computer.

" Malu-wee time ta go!" said an overweight man with a sweet playful smile on her face. She smiled back at him.

"Okay." Her pale face seemed sickly before, but now had a light blush from the long ass shower she had that morning, to drive the sickness away. She went over to the kitchen and grabbed a box of breakfast bars and a thing of drinks, and carefully stowed them in her pack.

"This week's breakfast and snacks." She said in a cheery voice. She threw the overweight bag over her shoulders.

Now why was she up at this godforsaken hour you ask? She was in the IB (International Baccalaureate) or an Advance Placement program on speed. The program was made for the biggest nerds…and she was one of them. She always seemed to grasp the concepts quick in school. And now she was finally in classes that MADE her work to succeed. Though sadly she had to go to another school then she normally would have…and it was an hour and a half bus ride…. and they picked her up 10 till 6. Joy. When the bus arrived at her stop and she said her goodbyes to her father and went into the bus. Curling into a seat, she began to sleep.

A hard jerk, that had her sprawling into the lap of a friend, woke her. She looked at the driver's seat in panic. The bus driver was knocked out, blood dripping down his forehead; she gasped and looked out the window. They were speeding in a forest….OH SHIT. She got up and held onto the seats as she tried to get closer to the front. A teenager and her child, that usually sat in the front were dead…they must have gotten hit from the side. She got up to the driver and slammed her foot on what she thought was the breaks…. All she then remembered was slamming into the glass, something hitting her back…and then darkness.

Coughing, gasping for breath, her eyes opened as she rolled over and began coughing violently. Blood splattered on dark brown tree roots. She groaned as she held onto her head as her vision blurred. When the spell was over she looked up and around. Sun peaked from the huge trees that surrounded her. She could hear the soft singing of birds in the distance and the scurrying of squirrels in the trees, as they jumped from branch to branch. She looked around to see her backpack, covered with glass shards and blood. She smiled in relief. The reached over and pulled it to her. Grabbing a bar and a drink, she settled down and looked around.

Where was she? Definitely not Florida. The trees were huge and looked healthy. No leaning to a particular direction, like a hurricane had never touched them. Floridian trees were always leaning somewhere and had that stupid kudzoo or that damned Spanish moss on them. But these trees didn't…hmm. She sneezed again loudly this time and loss her sense of self, which sent her reeling. Dammit…its either she was really sick or she had a concussion. Fuck, either was both bad. Especially if she was lost. She stood up sleepily and stuffed her trash in a compartment in her bag. Then she threw the bag on her back and set off, to go find some civilization.

"We're OFF to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ, because, because, because of ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE DOES! De Dum Num Dun Num DE DUM!" she said with a mischievous smirk as she left…little did she know, she had a LOT of things in common with that preppy little Dorothy at that time.

THREE DAYS LATER

"3 FUCKING DAYS 3 FUCKING DAYS! THRREEEE FUCKING DAYS OF HELL! I'M TIRED, BRUISED, CUT, AND SORE! THREEE FUCKING DAYS OF HIKING IN SOMEWHERE I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE THE FUCK I AM!" She ranted clearly irritable. She bit into another of her breakfast bars. She glared up at the heavens.

"DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? I'M GLAD I COULD ENTERTAIN YOU, YOU BASTARDS AND BITCHES! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HADES!" she cursed at the heavens and then sulkily hugged herself in reassurance.

"I am getting home. Any FUCKING day now." She grumbled and then sighed.

"Liar…" She buried herself in her self-pity till she heard the twang of a bow. She turned around to see the bad end of a very sharp arrow.

"…Fuck." She looked to the owner to see a very beautiful man…a very, very beautiful tall man with POINTED EARS!

"AN ELF!" she almost cried in relief. Someone who was cosplaying! THANK GOD! She thought…well until the man began jabbering in a language she couldn't understand nor heard of…Damn. She blinked as the man then barked some sort of order. She looked at him confused. She then pointed to him, made her hand look as if talking and then pointed to her head and shook her head.

"I don't understand." She said in an apologetic voice. He studied her and then turned around and called out. Soon other very handsome men with bows and arrows and SWORDS appeared. Her eyes went wide with panic.

"AIEE!" she ducked down and swiped the man's legs out from under him and then grabbed her bag and sprinted off. Shouts of something like DARO could be heard. She paid no heed and continued to run like hell. Till, after a few appearances of the men behind her. She growled and threw her bag up a tree, which was caught by a branch. And pulled herself up, so that she could hide. Once hidden in the thick branches she looked down. There, she saw the men appear. Thank God she had made tracks that continue in the forest, and then tracked back, on her own prints so that they wouldn't realize, and then hid in the tree. They ran past and continued in the forest. She hugged her back tight, and leaned back…It was gonna be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

Blood shot eyes glared at the bright orange sun that smiled down at her mockingly. She had got no sleep what-so-ever; every time her head fell the remembrance of that arrow shook her awake scared stiff. Then she saw the man-elf cosplayers rush through the forest, calmly and eerily like a hunter…she had been paranoid every since and refuse to travel on the ground. Instead, she took to jumping from tree to tree. Thank God the trees were REALLY REALLLY close to each other…all she now had to worry about was falling to her death…which she got over quite quickly when she remembered the elf-men.

Okay…she was a bit paranoid…but for good reason. Every now and again she almost got caught by those elf-men traveling around. She tried to go closer and closer, where there was a more concentrated amount of them…'I know that's stupid to do'. But that means there is a base. And a base means there are food and water and shelter…and maybe a nice horse so that she can ride her ass away on. She had long gotten rid of the idea that she was on earth. These people were carrying around stuff like they were Amish…no technology. She was very lost…and she knew it.

She held back a face-splitting yawn and sat down on a tree…she needed sleep…she couldn't last long with 2 or three hours a day. She closed her eyes, as Morpheus carried her consciousness away with his night woven blanket of dreams.

The sound of horse, cluttering and clattering, she jerked herself from her sleep and looked down. Beautiful cream and chestnut colored horses carried armor-clad soldiers. She scowled. She was gonna have to take one. She spied at the riders looking for a perfect victim, as she jumped tree to tree, following them as silent as a squirrel. She heard soft whispers as they halted and talked quietly. She looked at them curiously. What were they doing? Had they seen her? No, she shook her head. Not possible, they would have to look up and she CERTAINLY hadn't seen them do so. One of them they said a command to their horses and began off, separate from the horses. She smirked. Perfect. Following quietly, she followed the elf-man. He had long dark brown hair and a long face with high cheekbones. He was utterly eatable…too bad she'd have to bruise that pretty face. She got out some of her textbooks quietly and set the distraction.

She then circled around on the other side and threw a pebble. She watched the book fall and the elf automatically turning and taking out his bow. With another throw, another fell, and an arrow flew. She threw herself off the tree and rammed the elf-man off the horse. Her hands wrapped around his mouth, silencing his yelp. She tried to pin him down, only to have him struggle and flail. She rammed a fist into his temple, and watched him go lax. She sighed in relief. She laid him down and went over to the horse. It watched her warily. She held out her hands and gave him a look of desperation mixed with sorrow of what she had to do. The horse relaxed. She went over and took off one of the packs on him and looked in it. It had a bedroll. She looked at it and sighed. He would need it more. She took it and then went to set it up and put the elf in it. Then she kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry elf-man." She stroked his hair as a hand grabbed her wrist. She panicked and tried to yank it away. But in the distraction, the man overpowered her and rolled over, pinning her beneath him.

"Ya naa lle?" he said in a demanding…but oddly musical voice. She struggled and growled. (Who are you?)

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" She yelled and tried to head butt him. He only moved his head out of range.

"Lle quena i'lambe tel' Eldalie?" (Do you speak elvish?) He asked her, comprehension showing in his eyes.

"What the HELL are you saying!" she answered.

"Dina!" (Be silent!) he said authoritavely. She glared at him and for some odd reason…shut up. He smiled.

"Uuma Dela." He said softly in a soothing voice. (Don't worry) Suddenly calls in the distance could be heard.

"Mankee naa lle?" an elf-man called in the distance. (Where are you?) She scowled and struggled again. Then…she bit his arm.

"Tanya awra!"(That Hurt!) Cried the elf holding her. Then she saw a crowd of elf-men appear around them. She growled and glared.

"LET GO OF ME! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ASSHOLES!" she screeched.

"DINA EDAN!" (Be silent human!) Yelled another Elf. She glared.

"FUCK YOU ASSWIPES!" she cursed violently as she struggled against the man holding her. The elf-man turned to the other elf and began to speak rapidly. The other elf relaxed, slightly and looked to her.

"Mankoi lle uma tanya?" he asked. (Why did you do that?) She looked at him blandly.

She leaned her head to him and then moved her mouth as if talking and then shook her head. He seemed to get the message, and then began to speak in different languages (so it seemed) till she vaguely could understand one.

"Thy speakest that language a bit." She said. His eyes lit up as he began to speak in rapidly in that ancient English.

"SLOW!" she cried confusedly. The elf blinked.

"Doust though speakest this language?"

"I know a small amount in this language." She answered. He frowned. She frowned back. Too many different words in that language, which she didn't know…damn the English. He sighed and held his had his hand to his chest.

"Astaladanar." Then he held his hand to her. Ahhh he asked for my name!

"Malucath Dae." The elf-man looked utterly confused.

"Malucath…Dae?" she nodded. The elf-men began to talk amongst themselves…soon then turning to her.

"Come." He said. Then she realized the elf-man that pinned her down was no longer there. She looked around while standing up. She saw him studying her.

"Malucath Dae." She held her hand on her chest and then gestured to him.

"Elladan" he said as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles. She felt the hairs in the back of her neck raise in her embarrassment and her neck. She heard the other elf-men laughing. She turned and glared.

"Shut it!" she hissed, that made them laugh all the more. She scowled at them at then stuck her tongue out at them. They gave her amused smiles. She just rolled her eyes.

"Malu hin" Astaladdanar gestured for her to come to him. She did so while glaring at the other elf-men. Once she was close, she felt pain explode in the back of her neck and then darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

She heard talking, her head hurt. Had they knocked her out? Or was that sickness or the concussion? She scowled and opened her eyes. White...so bright. She groaned and rolled over, hiding her face in the also white comforter. That made her scowl all the more. She heard talking behind her.

"BE QUIET!" she yelled, slightly muffled, at them. The talking abruptly stopped and someone touched her shoulder. She yelped and jumped. She turned around quickly to see who it was. Only to have her head spin and nausea creep up. She groaned and held her head in pain. Soon, the stars cleared leaving a man, dark brown hair balding at the temples, with high cheekbones, and looking like whathisname? Oh! Elladan. Next to him was a man with startling dark black hair and bright green eyes. She glared.

"What the HELL do you want?" she said in forced politeness. The Elladan senior frowned, as did the elf-man next to him did.

"I'm sorry to wake you. But you have trespassed on my lands and attacked some of my men," the Elladan senior said watching her wearily. She raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry...I wasn't quiet aware of where the hell I was. I'll try to stay away from here in future reference," the man frowned again.

"You lost your group," the man said in more of a question then a statement.

"Sort of...I have no clue where I am. Not even what world I am in," she replied, her brows arched together in thought. The man looked at her surprised.

"You are in Rivendelle, of Middle Earth," he said softly.

"...Middle Earth...OH HELL!" she said as she fell back on her back dramatically. She groaned.

"I am very misplaced...and I went in another dimension...or in the p-- no wait...they didn't name the planet Earth till WAYY later," she said thoughtfully. The elf-men frowned at her, confused.

"Don't ask...Anyhow, how do you guys understand me? Your soldiers had NO clue what I was saying earlier...they kept on speaking Old English..."

"Old English?" said the raven haired elf-man.

"We are speaking in the common tongue," informed the Elladan senior.

"Oh..." she said softly. Anyways, My name is Malucath Dae, otherwise known as Malu...or Astaladnar called me Malu hin...can you tell me what hin means anyhow?" she asked looking at the two.

"My name is Elrond and this is Erestor," said the brunette gesturing to the raven-hair elf-man, ignoring the request for a translation.

"Umm...if I may inquire...what are you?" she said eyeing their ears.

"We are elves, Malucath," said Erestor. She blinked.

"Oh...you aren't cos-playing..." her eyes rolled up as she fell back in a faint. The two blinked and looked to each other. Was it really that shocking? And what was cos-playing?

Sneezing, Malu woke from her sleep. She looked around to see herself in the same insanely white room; she must have been in the medical ward. She thought as she looked around at the other beds. She coughed into her hand and then stretched. She heard a door open and she looked to see Elladan.

"Oh Hello!" And to her surprise he answered back.

"Good Morning," he smiled at her.

"You could understand me!" Her eyes went wide. His eyes glittered with mischievousness.

"Quiet well. You have a very dirty mouth for a girl," he said with amusement in his voice. She scowled at him.

"Mischievous ass...you could have saved me from a lot of hell you know!" she scolded him. He only grinned.

"But that would have ruined all the fun wouldn't it?" he said playfully. She rolled her eyes.

"For you."

"Exactly!" He exclaimed. She pouted.

"I'm hurt. You care not for the aftermath of your mischief," she said looking off to the side, as if hurt. Elladan laughed and then quieted and looked to her seriously.

"Now...Why did you apologize for what you did," he said almost curious of her answer. She frowned and looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry! I really needed some supplies and a horse…and you distanced yourself from the group…so…" She bit her lip. Elladan raised his hand and gave her a lopsided grin.

"It's fine. But why did you put me on a bed roll?"

"Well duh, couldn't leave you on the ground. It's gonna hurt your back and all," she said simply.

"And what would you do without one?" he asked with a smirk.

"Sleep in the trees of course," she said again simply. Then a thought hit her. "Did you go off alone because you heard me?"

"Yes you were very loud!" he said laughing. She pouted.

"Oh thanks…"

"Don't worry mellon. You were very quiet for men." She looked at him with a bland look.

"I'm a _wo_man not a _man,_" she said as if annoyed. He chuckled.

"Indeed." She scowled.

"Now where's my stuff? Or did you leave it?" she said giving him a mildly annoyed look.

"It's being inspected. We didn't know what you had…though you may be needed to explain some of the strange things you have in their, Malu hin," Elladan said, his eyes twinkling. Her eyes lit up.

"What does Hin mean?"

"It means child," said Elladan cheerfully. Her eyes narrowed.

"_Child!_" She cried outraged.

"You are young," he answered. She growled and then crossed her arms over her chest.

"I am NOT a child! And how old are you? 20?"

"2891," he said with a smirk. Her eyes went wide as her jaw slackened.

"HOLY SHIT!" She fell back totally shocked. Elladan looked amusedly at her.

"Now you see why you're a child?"

"Yes…." She pouted like a child and then went and poked his chest. "And for now on I'm gonna call you an old man, jii-san!" He looked at her confused.

"It's in another language called Japanese," she said with a smirk. He smiled and shook his head.

"Fine, hin, it's not like anyone understands the remark."

"Okay jii-san!" She smirked. Elladan shook his head and smiled. Then Malu let out a face splitting yawn. Her eyes felt heavy.

"You should sleep, Malu hin, you're still sick and you have a nasty concussion," Elladan said softly as he pushed her down onto her pillow.

" Hm'kay Jii-san." She smiled sleepily at him. He smiled back and patted her head.

"Good night milady," he said endearingly. She frowned.

"Not a lady…I cuss worse then a drunkard." She yawned and settled in her blankets.

"Indeed," he said with a smile. She nodded and then fell into sleep's arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Talking 

_Crying_

_Whispers_

Malucath woke to the sounds of prayers, crying and urgent whispers. Groaning, she opened her eyes to only close them at the glaring white room. After readjusting her vision, she pushed herself up and looked around. A few beds down, a white screen cloaked a bed. She could see many people within, and hear the voice of Elrond whispering in a very soothing language. She cocked her head to the side. _What the hell is going on? _She thought her eyebrows arching in her thought. Suddenly the prayer stopped and she could hear a slight whimper. Then the screen was pushed back as she saw Elrond speaking to some very…odd people.

There was one man, with wavy brown hair that had become stringy without wash. He had stubble of a beard and kind blue-green eyes. The other companions were midget like people. Two of them had curly brown hair and the other was a pudgy sort of blonde with curly hair as well. They seemed to be all huddled around another midget with short curly dark brown hair. He was breathing deeply, signaling he was asleep, but his clothes were ripped and torn, telling her of his plight.

She winced and watched Elrond talk to the man. Then her ears picked up two words that had her wincing, _Lord Elrond._ He was a LORD! OMFG! She was being bratty around a fucking LORD that could behead her fucking ass….oh that would explain why he said MY soldiers…I thought he was some sorta captain. Great, just fucking great. She looked at the nightstand next to her and opened it up trying to find one of her belongings. Inside she saw nothing….great. FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC! She held back a curse and instead growled in annoyance. She reached up and pushed her hands through her raven colored hair in order to soothe her frustration…she was hungry dammit. FEED ME! She pouted and then pushed herself back flat on her back, on the surprisingly comfy mattress.

She looked at the corner of her eye to see the man watching her with knitted eyebrows. Great…I don't need to be inspected people! I don't bite! Well….if I'm not threatened. She added as she thought back to Elladan and when she was struggling against him. Hehehehe…she was pinned…it was within her right to bite. HEY! That rhymed! Sweet. She saw Lord Elrond walking towards her, with a mask of nonchalance.

"Good Morning, Malucath. How do you feel?" He said politely.

"Not dizzy or sick…that is a very good sign," she replied. It was…she usually was sick for weeks and weeks…not being able to shake the 'bug'.

"Good. I have some questions on some of the items that are in your pack. If you would follow me?" He said in a tone that just screamed _don't argue with me_.

"Of course, _Lord_ Elrond," she said a little bit miffed that he didn't tell her that he was a lord. He only gave a brief smile and began to walk off. She got up quickly in her simple white shirt and pants, and followed him, deciding to ignore the stare that the man and the midgets gave her…she would deal with that later.

She followed the Lord down winding halls, ignoring the stares and whispers of curious elves that passed them. Annoying little buggers. They soon arrived to a door which he opened with ease showing a sort of workshop, and on one of the benches was my pack with my stuff everywhere. Her eyes twitched. Some elves were currently reading one of her textbooks on psychology. They nodded every so often in agreement or looked at the book incredulously. She looked up to the tall Lord Elrond.

"Your books have scrolls of studies on rather interesting subjects. None of which are taught on this world. And you have some rather interesting objects," he said watching for her reaction. She nodded.

"My world is rather…focused on studies of the unknown. All the children are taught in general subjects. School is rather important to us," she answered. Glaring at the elf that was fiddling with her calculator. "Hey! Be careful with that! That was expensive to buy!" The elf froze and looked back to her.

"What is this? What purpose does it serve?" he asked. She went over to him and took it from his hands.

"This is a calculator. It can solve complex math problems." She took off the protecting lid and turned it on. She pushed in 2 + 2, "See!" and pushed solve and it showed a number 4 beneath it.

"I can find out a whole bunch of things on here," She said and then saw the shocked surprise on the elf's face.

"Is it alive?"

"No, it uses the power of lightening to work," she said figuring he would have no clue what electricity was. The elf looked at the calculator in awe.

"Amazing…" he said.

"Yeah…" she answered. Then looked to the elf that was reading about psychology.

"Enjoying the reading?" she asked. The elf looked up and looked at her sheepishly.

"Yes. It's rather fascinating," he answered; she nodded in agreement.

"I agree. That's why I took that class." She went over to her bag and got out one of her breakfast bars.

"What are those?" he asked looking at the bar curiously.

"Food, oats, almonds and cranberries baked with honey." She opened the wrapper and took a piece off the bar and ate it.

"Want some?" she offered. The elf looked at it warily and then nodded. She took off a piece and gave it too him. He sniffed it and then ate the small morsel. His dark green eyes lit up and then he smiled.

"That is very good!"

"Yep… That's what I normally eat for breakfast!" she answered. He looked at her shocked.

"But that's so small!" he exclaimed. This made her smile.

"And I don't eat much breakfast normally. And I usually don't have time in the morning to make a big breakfast." She replied. He looked at her blankly and then shrugged. Then he made it a point to give Lord Elrond a look. Not that she could even attempt to figure out what the HELL that look meant, she ignored it as just a look and nothing more. She went through her bag, while eating the breakfast bar. After confirming there was nothing more then papers and random medicines, which she took out and pocketed after telling the elf what they were. She looked back to Lord Elrond.

"What now?" Malu questioned, her raven hair being untangled by her fingers.

"I shall send you with a maid to a new room." Lord Elrond answered as if it was obvious. So obvious that it made her eyebrow tick in annoyance.

"Hmm'kay. Can I bring my stuff too?" She gestured to her bag and the books.

"I will have someone bring them to you tonight." She nodded satisfied.

"Very Well." And with that…the bastard sent her off as if she was a little fly buzzing around his head…jackass.

Within weeks, she felt her going into a steady routine, wake up early, dress, walk in the gardens, find a elf-child to spar with, go back to bed, wake up at 2 pm from an annoyed maid, shower and dress 'properly', eat lunch in kitchens, go to library till 4, walk till 5, eat and listen to stories till midnight, bath, and bed. She made it a point to avoid people as much as possible, being as quiet and stealthy as possible. Well, until the dinner and stories from the elfish mothers or elders. They were kind and spoke in common tongue for her or in basic elvish. She was beginning to learn simple phrases, but she had a LONG way to go. In the meanwhile, she bought a book, from money she found randomly, on the grammer of elvish and a humongous dictionary from common tongue to Sindarin, and vise versa. It was awesome; which was why she spent the time in the libraries, trying to read books in Sindarin. Well, the nice thing that it was a HELL of a lot easier then Spanish. Spanish was so fickle in the verb conjugations. It was rather set standard rules. The pronunciation was also a bit similar to Spanish on occasion…that and French. It was nice and flowing. She still made mistakes….okay she made a lot of mistakes but the elves were enduring with the slaughter of their language.

Though today had been…odd. Everyone was running around like their heads had been cut off. Why? Well she hadn't been able to stop one of them; they would brush her off as soon as she TRIED to ask. She sighed and spotted Elladan. Finally!

" Mani naa marien?"(What is happening/ what is going on?) She asked her brows knitted.

"Mellonea en'Mithrandir hama raktae. Mereth naa Kwaruva ten'sen sina undome!" (Friends of Gandalf have arrived. A Feast is held for them this evening!) Elladan said excitedly. She blinked and cocked her head to the side getting the vague understanding of what he said.

"Ya naa Mithrandir?"(Who is Gandalf?) she asked her head cocked to the side.

"Istari! Valquanta er!"(A wizard! A powerful one!) He said laughing. She looked at him in confusion.

" Istari?" (Wizard?)She said confusedly.

" Uma!"(Yes!) She nodded as Elladan ran off with a goodbye.

She frowned. Who the hell was Mithrandir? Perhaps some research was in order…she thought as she began to wander towards the library, deep in thought. Suddenly, a slamming into a person awoke her.

"Amin hiraetha!"(I'm sorry!) she cried out looking up. She looked up into blue-green eyes.

"N'dela no'ta," (Don't worry about it.) said a deep soothing voice, chuckling. She felt her neck heat up in embarrassment.

"Sal', Amin anta tira ten'rashwe."(Still, I need to be careful!) She said looking at him apologetically. He chuckled at some of her mispronunciations.

"Learning how to speak elvish?" He said as more as of a statement then anything else.

"Yes…it's a rather easy language to learn," she said with a grin in return. He chuckled.

"I'm not sure if the elves would be insulted or complimented by that," he said with a mischievous look. She chortled.

"They should be complimented. It means they actually thought out their language. Common tongue is a bit…complex and not very well thought out," she said with a thoughtful look. He laughed in response.

"True. My name is Aragorn." He held out a hand, to help her up.

"My name is Malucath," she replied taking his hand. He pulled her up with ease and brushed a kiss on her knuckles.

"Very nice to meet you, Malucath." She felt her neck heat up again, but she decided to brush it off.

"My, My aren't we a little gentlemen? No worries, you needn't not do so in front of me. I'm not used to such treatment," she laughed flippantly.

"But, milady, you do deserve such attention," he replied, lightly flirting with her.

"Ah, that is where you are wrong, kind sir. I need attention in an intelligent conversation, not common pleasantries." She gave him a smirk, which made him laugh.

"I'm sorry but I must go. I have research I must conduct. So if you would excuse me, kind sir." He looked at her curiously.

"On what subject?"

"On your mysterious friend, Mithrandir. I'm afraid I don't know his story, and I am rather curious." She smiled at him with ease. He nodded.

"Well, he also known as Gandalf, if that may help," he commented. She nodded.

"Tenna'ento lye omenta!"(Until we next meet!) And with that, she ran down the halls, dodging maids, butlers, and elves, while going to the destination of the library.

Several hours later, and a dragging by the ear, an upset and distraught Malu sat in front of a mirror as Maksalosa, her elven maid, brushed her raven hair into a half pony tail, with small braids from the hair above her ears. Her hair, with the special attention it had been getting lately, had gone to the point it shone blue under the light. She wore a dark blue dress with silver leaves embroidered by the scoop neck, sleeves and waist. She had a simple dark blue stone in a tear drop design hang from her ears. Where did she get these things? Apparently these were the perks of being a guest…she felt spoiled rotten…and she didn't like it one bit. Maksalosa had stained her lips a dark burgundy red and her eyes were lightly outlined with coal around the ends. She had a certain sultry look about her…she looked like a bloody whore. Just great…I feel sooooo fucking pretty now I am a whore, there goes my self esteem down 10 points. She pouted and looked to Maksalosa.

"Do I have to goooo?" she whined.

"Yes! It would be horribly rude not to!"

"In this!"

"Yes. You must show off those gifts that Lord Elrond bestowed upon you." This made her sigh.

"Very well…Oy vey." She sighed and gave one last long look and then took a deep breath. "I can do this." She mumbled to herself. She pushed open the door, and began down to the dining hall.

Her breathing seemed to stop as she saw a HUGE amount of elves. Even more then normal. And they all seem to turn to look at her. She felt the hair on her neck stand on end and her neck heated from her heart racing. She held her head high and walked with as much grace as she could, towards where she was Elrohir and Elladan. She sat in next to Elrohir, seeing as Elladan was busy entertaining a female friend. She smiled at Elrohir.

"Nae saian luume," (It's been too long.) she said with a sincere smile.

"Vanimle sila tiri sina undom," (Your beauty shines bright this evening) he said teasingly.

"Aa'na," (Maybe) she said with a careless shrug. He frowned and touched her arm lightly.

"Lle naa!"(You are!) He insisted.

"Il'iire naa anna e'pelu ikotane nir'vamimeas," (Not when to be around so many beauties!) she said lightly with humor. He still frowned but she patted his arm.

"N'dela," (Don't Worry!) She said before interrupted by the doors opening and two very loud midgets talking.

"Oh! So much food, Pip! It's more then the festivals that the Gamgee's hold!"(Because of Farmer Cotton, the Gamgees should have large meals, and Sam seems to have a lot of experience with cooking it leads me to believe his family should have big food festivals) Said one of the brown haired midgets.

"Merry! Pip! Slow down!" called a blonde hair midget.

"Hurry up Sam! They got a whole feast for us!" Pip said cheerfully.

"No it's for Frodo and Strider!" Strider? Frodo? Which one was Aragorn…She heard several elves either laugh appreciatively at their antics or snort in disgust. She wasn't sure which emotion she had…she was a bit confused. Suddenly she saw Aragorn entering with a very beautiful woman with long dark hair. What was her name? OH! Arwen! That's right. She saw him whispering in her ear making her smile and giggle. Uh oh! She was flirting with a taken man earlier! SHIT! Oh well…she wouldn't do that again…I'm such an idiot. She thought with a sigh. She watched the two sit near her up closer along with the midgets, now with another midget that had long dark hair. They called him Frodo….OH! So Aragorn is Strider…neat-o!

The evening went well; Elrohir got distracted by a nice elf lady as was Elladan, so she was left alone. They midgets were caught up in their own little world and Aragorn or Strider only had eyes for Arwen. That meant she could sneak off soon…if Elrond didn't give the _look_ every time she got near the door…damn he was psychic. So for the 10th time so far, she sighed in agitation. She needed to get out of here. Her head turned left and right, looking for someone to entertain her. _Dammit…give me entertainment_.

She spotted a long blonde haired elf and grinned. He was sporting some elven wine and talking to a few elven maids who were flirting…he looked uncomfortable. Obviously he didn't want to hang out with fangirls…I wonder if he would mind one eccentric human female? …I don't think so at the moment. She walked gracefully up to Legolas.

"Lle merna salk? Amin vesta n' a'vanoa no'dal!" (Would you like to dance? I promise not to step on your feet!)She said with a careless laugh, offering her hand to the prince. He smiled.

"Uma, Arwen en amin," (Yes, milady) He said taking her hand and moving her to the dance floor. She attempted to keep up with him. But she felt warmth breath spray across her ear.

"Diola lle,"(Thank you.) he said softly, both dancing in circles with the other couples.

"Seasamin. Edainme maa ve' ron irma medi lle," (My pleasure. The women looked like they wanted to eat you) she said cheerfully. "Ar'lye n'tur garo tanyo,"(And we couldn't have that!) She could feel the short spurts of breath, telling her that he was trying to hold back a laugh. She put on a big smirk. She heard the music wind down.

"Amin quena lle karnuva asca." (I say that you should make haste!) He gave her a grin and brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles.

"Mani naa essa en lle?" (What is your name?) He asked quickly.

"Malucath Dae, Tarin Legolas en' Mirkwood,"(Malucath Dae, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood.) she said with an impish grin. He smiled back and nodded.

"Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva," (Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet) he said softly. She smiled back and watched him walk regally towards a group of _male_ friends with a look of scolding on his face. They must have abandoned him with the elf-maidens. This made her laugh.

Suddenly she could sense someone behind her. She turned to see a grinning Elrohir and Elladan.

"And what were yooou doing with Mister Princey?" Elrohir said with a smirk

"Saving him from a gaggle of fangirls," she said as if she saved him from death itself. "The menaces of society…fangirls." She spat out the would fangirls like elf do of orcs or dwarves…either one had the same effect. Elladan shuttered.

"What a horrible fate indeed, death by fan-girls." She nodded empathetically.

"I pity the fool who thinks they're tame." Both elves nodded somberly.

"Those poor naïve fools," they said at once. Malu sighed and then looked to the elves.

"So where are you're dates? Or did they finally tire of your antics?" She said with a playful smirk.

"Tanya awra!" (That Hurts!) They said simutaneously.

"And such a mean thing for a friend to say. Especially one whom happens to adore our very antics," Elladan said poking her arm. Malu smiled sickly sweet at him.

"Only on days ending with –y." Both of them laughed.

"Then everyday then!"

"Aye…what a sad fate indeed," she said looking terrible upset at the revelation. Elrohir laughed.

"We can have a sad fate together then, right milady?" Elladan said sweetly at her. She rose an eyebrow.

"Where is this milady? I will have to hurt her for stealing my friends." She looked around in fake anger. They laughed.

"She is a beautiful lady indeed. Shoulder length black hair. Sultry eyes. Nice big-" Elrohir was interrupted with a punch on his shoulder.

"I realllly didn't want to know you were looking. Please let me remain naïve," she said with a grimace. Elladan smirked.

"Of course milady." This made her roll her eyes.

"Yeah… What ever you say." She looked away and at Lord Elrond.

"He has been watching me the whole time…he really doesn't want me to leave early does he?" she said to the twins. They nodded.

"He wants to show that humans are able to be just as polite as elves. Some of the Mirkwood elves are a bit…hateful to humans." Elrohir said carefully, not wanting her to get angry.

"Understandable, a lot of humans are idiots that like to start war. Though…I still didn't appreciate the fact the dwarves AND Mirkwood elves are giving me paranoid looks and talk about me behind my back," she said with a sigh.

"At least I am making an effort to understand them and get to know them before I judge…prejudice people do annoy me so." Elladan and Elrohir looked to each other. Malu sighed and ran her fingers through her loose strands of hair.

"I'm gonna go try and escape. Can you go create a distraction?" She asked looked at them pleadingly. They looked hesitant but soon nodded.

"One distraction coming right up! Now make haste! Good night, my dear Malu," Elladan said with a smile. Elrohir gave his good-bye as well, as she made her way to the door on the other side of the room as quickly as possible. When she opened the door, she heard whooping and laughter. She quickly ducked into the halls and headed towards her rooms.

Grinning from ear to ear, Malu settled in a tree in the gardens. She stretched and lied across on her stomach while straddling the sturdy branch. She was content. She could see the moonlight filter through the branches and the lights reflect off of the small pool of water. Exotic flowers released a wonderful scent and gave a beautiful style to the scene. Yawning, she settled her head on her arms and stared at the clear depths of the water. Unaware, someone was watching her. She hummed quietly as she moved the skirt of her dress to show a book strapped to her thigh. She pulled it and a pen out of the straps and rearranged her skirt. Positioning the pen correctly, she pulled it across the page in light strokes, beginning to take what she saw and put it on paper. A shift in the bushes, made her jump up in surprise.

"Whose there? Yaa naa eller?" (Who is there?) She said nervously. She didn't like to be caught off guard.

"Pip! You have to be stealthy!" This made her blink. The midgets? What do they want? Shouldn't they be eating?

"If you wanted to be stealthy, you failed. Now come out so I can see you!" She called out. Two blushing midgets came out from the bushes.

"Sorry. But you looked so lonely, we just had to come out and cheer you up. But once you got settled…you looked so beautiful." Pippin, whom she recognized, said quietly. She blinked.

"I'm sorry but I am no beauty. The elven maidens are fairer then I," she said with a smile. "But thank you anways.anyway. I'm flattered."

"But that isn't true! The elf-ladies all look the same, but you look so…different." This made her laugh heartily.

"Thank you. I like being odd." They giggled both leaning against each other.

" You are surely one of a kind, Milady," Merry said with a brilliant boyish smile. She shook her head.

" Everyone is one of a kind…being different isn't that special these days," she said rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish smile. They simultaneously blinked at her logic.

" I…never thought of it that way," admitted Pippin. Merry smirked and took the initiative.

" You never think, Pip!" Exclaimed Merry, a mischievous look in his eyes. Pippin huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Do to!" Rebuffed the said Pippin. Malucath rolled her eyes. Holding out a hand, she began introductions.

" My name is Malucath Dae" Merry and Pippin turned to her, realizing they never introduced themselves.

" Peregrin Took of the Shire, you may call me Pippin and this is Meriadoc Brandybuck of the Shire, you can call him Merry." He gestured to the said person with a smile.

" Pleased to meet you." And there was the beginning of a wonderful, mischievous and prank-filled friendship.


	5. Chapter 5

Malu crept down the dark halls of the Last Homely House, known as Rivendell. She was restless, both of the midgets had left for bed, totally smashed. And she was still going on some hyper energy. Most of the occupants of Rivendell were fast asleep, for it was in the wee hours of the morning. So, she decided, very diplomatically, her victims for some pranks. First, was the El-twins. They had always messed with her so it was time to return the favor. Then she thought about a certain vain prince and his hair. With a smirk, she turned towards the gardens to get some useful herbs.

Malu leaned tiredly against her hand and yawned into the other. It was now a decent time to eat, around 6 o'clock. She had got only a 3 hour nap before she got up for some breakfast. It was also the 25th of October, or so she learned from a helpful she-elf. She eyed her food and decided it was time to eat. She reached for a fork when two familiar twin screams roused her from her haze. She blinked and looked up, everyone was alarmed and starting to move towards the sound, in haste. She sighed and grabbed her fork, to only hear another very high pitched scream of outrage.

She blinked…Legolas apparently can sing soprano…that's an interesting factoid. She stabbed some meat, chewed and then swallowed. Standing, she went off to go see the commotion.

Their in the middle of a large crowd, was a very embarrassed and hysterical elf with an interesting hair style. The bangs were streaked with red, green and blue while the back was dyed black. It was very stylish and anime-ish. She held back her giggles as blue eyes met with hers. She raised an eyebrow to him and giggled. Her attention was then diverted to two twins in red and blue. Everything about them was so, even the color of their skin and hair. The crowd of elves was now in stitches, leaning against each other, laughing hysterically. She pushed through the crowds till she was before the two twin wonders.

"What happened to you! Did you guys go berry pickin' and ended up smearing it all-over yourselves?" She exclaimed, holding back her laughter. Her eyes twinkled in merriment. The twins growled at her and grabbed her hands. There was a very faint green tint to them. They blinked and looked to the prince and then growled even more.

"My you've been a bit troublesome today." She blinked innocently enough.

"It's not my fault chlorophyll stains in some plants." But when she said that, she was gathered in a dyed filled hug. This made her screech. Then there was a scream of rage which made her slide through the hug, to duck a tackle from the prince himself. He was now in a tangle of limbs with the twins. She giggled.

"See ya, suckers!" She started to laugh madly and ran. Her cackles were heard as she ran past the elves and to the gardens, with 3 very pissed off elves following close behind.

Malucath gulped as she looked up at Lord Elrond himself. His face was calm but you could just see a vein throbbing by his temple. She sheepishly smiled and slumped in her seat. Around her was the twins, Legolas and for some reason, Gandalf the Grey. They all were giving her stern looks. She laughed nervously.

"It was a joke. You know…ha ha? The dye will come out after you wash it four times with soap…" She trailed off weakly when the looks got worse.

"You pulled a prank…on the prince of Mirkwood? And my sons?" Lord Elrond said with a bit of anger and disbelief in his voice.

"…Yes…I was bored…"

"YOU WERE BORED!"

"I did say that didn't I?" She blinked and thought back making sure she did say that. She nodded when she made sure she did and looked to them. They were looking at her in disbelief. She smiled sweetly at them. This made them blink and Gandalf shook his head chuckling.

"It's no wonder why your friends with the hobbits," he said with amusement clearly in his voice. Lord Elrond sighed. She suddenly felt a hard thump on her head.

"Ow!"

"Don't you ever ask us to help you for distractions again!" Scolded Elladan, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Usually hitting a woman wasn't a very acceptable behavior, but after it was clear that she was going to be rough-housing with them, they grew to treat her like a little brother…even if she was female. She looked up and stuck her tongue out at them.

"You're just jealous 'cuz I pulled one over you and the prince." This made Lord Elrond sigh in annoyance. Elrohir tousled her hair every which way, which had her scowl.

"Oi! Paws off the hair, elf boy!" She cried in fake outrage. This made the twins laugh. She felt her hair raised and turned to Legolas. He was giving her a very even, if not mad, look.

"Sorry…I didn't purposely target you…I just wondered how you would react!" She gave him a sweet smile and jumped up out of her chair. She went up and hugged him, from his sitting position, and jumped out of the room to go enjoy the rest of her morning , leaving a laughing audience and one bewildered elf.

Malu stretched as she looked to the book in front of her. She was reading up on the history and geography of Middle Earth. She was also coping down a map, carefully, on a piece of parchment, using colored inks so that she may color code certain information needed. After finishing the label for Forlindon, she looked to the book for any useful information. Giving a satisfied nod, she closed the book and sprinkled some drying sand over her parchment. She then grabbed the book, leaving the papers, to place the book back in its original spot. She stretched and looked to the local librarian, Erestor. He had high cheekbones and neat raven hair that tumbled over his shoulders. He had a rather stoic look about him constantly. She first met him when she woke up after being captured. He was also the high councilor…or something to that degree. He was watching her to make sure she had put away the book in the right place. This made her raise an eyebrow at him, which was responded with an even look. She decided to respond with a wink and a mischievous grin. This made him jerk in surprise but calm after her laughter. She grabbed her papers and gave him one last look, with a vulpine grin. He shook his head at her in suppressed laughter. Then, she turned and walked out, her hips swaying.

While walking down the halls, her shoulder was suddenly touched. She yelped loudly and spun around. What she saw made her scowl, there was a laughing Elladan.

"A little jumpy aren't we?"

"I'm paranoid…for good reason too," she answered.

"There is a council today, my father wishes for you to come." She raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Facinating…is there whiny males there?" She asked, a wary look on her face. He laughed at her.

"You will see, now dress nicely quickly. The council is in an hour." She nodded.

"Sir yes sir!" She saluted him and skipped off, ignoring the musical laughter behind her.

She was upset. When one of the maids heard she was to dress up, how she did not know, they did dress her…like a friggin' whore…AGAIN! She growled trying to warn off the maids. Apparently she had done this too much, for they laughing as if it was an endearing quality. She rolled her eyes.

"You spoil all my fun," she said with a pout. Maksalosa patted her painted cheek.

" Don't worry, you will look wonderful."

"You are aware I have..5 minutes to get my butt down there…"

" That's why you're finish, dear."

"Oh…" She looked into the mirror. They had again gave her a similar look except a different look. She had a silvery blue dress, very light in color, that had the scoop neck and a sort of puffy sleeves till a sort of band, then they fell into a bell sleeve with ruffles. Her eyes were accented with a soft blue and her face skin tone was evened out. Her lips were just painted with a gloss. She rose an eyebrow at her appearance.

"It's just a meeting…oh well. Thank you, I look wonderful." This made the others smile appreciatively. She had already learned that a happy maid was a good one. They never screwed with your stuff or did anything to spite you, which was a very good thing. She heard a knock at the door.

"Coming!" She went to open the door, when it opened. Elladan looked at her surprised.

"Don't ask. Let's go. I don't want to be late." She pulled him out of the door and hoped to be on time for the council…thingy.

A bell rang as she looked up from the gardens. She and Elladan had been walking leisurely, he had told her that he had told her ten minutes earlier then the actual council, so that they wouldn't be late. She waved good-bye, for the bell was the warning bell for the council.

When she arrived she saw many elves, Prince Legolas, Glorfindel, Galdor, Erestor, and two elves that she didn't know, one being a king, from what she could tell. Two dwarves held themselves away from the elves, giving them shifty glances. A man, whom she recognize as Boromir, whom the maids were gossiping about, was sitting far from the others. She also saw Aragorn, Frodo, Bilbo, and Gandalf sitting. And there, being the head of the council was Elrond, looking as noble and callous as normal. She sighed and gathered her skirt in her hands. Several of the males look to her in interest. She glared at Boromir whom seemed to be eyeing her a little bit too much. She quickly moved over to sit, a bit sulkily, next to the dwarfs. She smiled at them kindly. They looked at her inquiringly. Yes, she thought, a start of a wonderfully curious friendship. She inwardly rolled her eyes.

"What is a _woman_ doing at the council?" She turned and scowled at Boromir. But before she could insult him, she was interrupted by Gandalf.

"She is here at the request of Lord Elrond. Be at peace, she has as much right being here as you." Hehehe…Does Lord Elrond know that she's not from around here? She looked boldly to Boromir with a scathing look. He scowled at her with narrowed eyes. Suddenly I song came into her head.

_I'm an asshole, he's an asshole, an asshole, what an asshole, I'm an asshole, what the world's biggest asshole!A SS HO LE EVERBODY A SS HO LE! I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it. – Dennis Leary, I'm an asshole_

She huffed. That damn well fitted him quite well. The council then began to start.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate--this one doom," he gestured to the stone pedestal in the center, "Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." Frodo stood and placed the ring on the pedestal. Trying his best not to look back, he returned to his seat. The council began to whisper to one another.

"So it is true..." Mused Boromir.

"The Doom of Men," said the elf stranger. Boromir shook his head in disagreement.

"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring?" He began to pace, his gaze on the ring. "Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!" Aragorn jumped up.

"You cannot wield it! None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."

"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Boromir sneered at the ranger. Legolas stood in outrage and began to open his mouth.

"This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

"Aragorn? This... is Isildur's heir?" Boromir's, Frodo's and my eyes widened.

"And heir to the throne of Gondor," Legolas said in a superior tone. Those who didn't know, looked wide eyed to Aragorn.

"_Havo dad _Legolas, " Softly commanded Aragorn. Legolas sat down sulkily.

"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," he retorted in a snotty tone, obviously upset at this update.

"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it," Gandalf agreed warily.

"You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed." Elrond let his gaze sweep over the bunch.

"What are we waiting for?" One of the dwarves said, which she later learned his name was Gimli. Gimli grabbed his ax and threw it over his shoulder, trying to attack the ring. "ARGH!" He struck the Ring with all his strength, but he was thrown to the ground, by the ring. Frodo winced as they looked to the ring, surrounded by shards of the axe. They could hear the faint whispers of the black tongue from the Ring.

"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came." The ring whispered dangerously _Ash Nazg_. "One of you must do this." The council went dead silent.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!" Exclaimed Boromir.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!" Legolas stood indignantly and glared at Boromir.

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it!" Gimli jumped up and began to accuse.

"And if we fail, what then! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his!" Said Boromir as he stood.

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!" Growled Gimli. The council members began to argue angrily. Malucath sighed and watched them while muttering threats.

"Never trust an elf!" Cried Gimli.

"Do you not understand that while we bicker amongst ourselves, Sauron's power grows! None can escape it!" Growled Gandalf. Frodo and Malucath both sat, one watching the ring and the other watching the council. Malucath turned to Frodo, when the argument got worse. She saw him rise and began to look determined.

"I will take it! I will take it!" Cried Frodo. The others looked at him in shock.

"I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though-- I do not know the way," said Frodo softly. Gandalf walked to Frodo and placed a hand on Frodo's shoulders reassuringly.

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, so long as it is yours to bear," Gravely said Gandalf. Aragorn rose.

"If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will." Aragorn approached Frodo and keeled before him. "You have my sword."

"And you have my bow," exclaimed Legolas.

"And my axe!" He scowled at Legolas but he joined the group. Boromir joined them.

"You carry the fates of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done." Then suddenly, Sam popped out of the bushes.

"Heh! Mr. Frodo is not goin' anywhere without me!" Exclaimed Sam.

"No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not." Lord Elrond looked amused, which the bugger never showed me ANY emotion…asshole. But Sam was followed by the others.

"Wait! We are coming too!"

"You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!" Merry boasted.

"Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest... thing," Pippin chirped.

"Well that rules you out Pip," retorted Merry. Pippin sulked. Malucath took this time to rise. She walked to Frodo.

"Like hell am I gonna leave it to males to save the world…you would end up doing something stupid. Frodo, as long as my heart as beating, I will do everything in my power to help you." The male occupants looked to her shocked as she kneeled before him, which was fairly difficult to do in a dress. "And besides," she muttered. "Males don't go to other males for comfort when they dream of horrors. It's not healthy to keep it all in." She looked up with amusement in her eyes, up to Frodo. Then she stood and kissed Frodo's brow.

"Ten companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" Elrond exclaimed, amusedly.

"Great! Where are we going?" Asked Pippin excitedly, everyone else groaned.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Malucath scratched the back of her neck. In front of her was two very pissed off and worried elves. Elrohir glared.

"What in Valor's name are YOU THINKING! You can't fight!"

"Can too…I just choose not to," she retorted annoyedly. Elrohir huffed. Who was she to go out and fight a war she's not even a part of! Elladan growled and grabbed her wrist.

"Listen to me Malu, this is insane. You will be killed! You do not know the customs of the people. You do not know the lands, you don't even know the basic survival skills! You can't depend on the others to be at your whim! They will not cater a spoiled foreigner!" Elladan lectured as Malucath steadily got more and more annoyed. She knew how to survive, she sure as heck knew how to find out all this information. She _had_ studied the lands and knew some of the basic customs. She wasn't going to get herself killed. Why would she be that stupid to get herself in a promise like she had made if she knew she couldn't keep it? Malucath then took a deep breath and gave a stabbing blow.

"Do not presume to know me. All you know is what I have told you! You've barely scratched the surface and you do not know that I am not capable of taking care of myself. And who are you to judge my capabilities? Who are you to judge my character? You are not Valar! So do not dare judge a person you scarcely know. Now, if you will excuse me I need to prepare for this long journey!" She threw her hair over her shoulder in a huff and spinned around to head for her rooms.

BREAK BREAK

It had been 2 short busy winter months! She had studied and learned all that she could. She had learned some medicine from the healers, plants from the apocathary, hunting from some young elven boys. The boys were quite helpful, they taught her how to fish, row, run, hunt for food and all the basic skills taught to young elven boys. They were more then happy to assist her, for they were eager to be the teachers rather then the students for the time being. She had gone to Bilbo to tell her stories and tricks that may help her on her way. Though, during all this time, she had not once spoken to the elven twins since their fight. She avoided most of the fellowship, not wanting their condescending looks.

She now grabbed a full pack, filled to the brim with utensils, a change of clothes, herbs (very few actually since she could find most on the way), and a myriad of other tools of the trade. She rolled her shoulders and neck and looked in the mirror, at her reflection. She now wore the traditional garbs of a young elven hunter, a light brown vest made of an deers hide a moss colored poet's shirt tucked into dark brown britches. She flipped a long tattered dark chocolate colored cloak and carefully pinned a moon stoned brooch to keep the cloak secured. The silvery white stone brought out her sooty silvered amysthest eyes. Her raven hair was pulled back into a long French braid, with small whisps of hair framing her face. She looked to her tan hide belt and sighed at the missing accessories, a sword…Yes she did have a set of silver daggers secured to her belt, for skinning her prey…but still, she did admire that beautiful long but slender sword, with saber like handle. She sighed wistfully and grabbed her pack. She turned her back to the long ornate mirror and made sure her leather hiking boots were comfortable and supportive, before heading out to the edge of the forest, towards Mordor.

All the pleasant good-byes were beginning, and she still half hoped to see her goofy troublesome twins. She watched as Elrond and Gandalf talk in quiet whispers before then turning to the half-pints and manipulating them not to remember their conversation. The green leafed prince was saying his good-byes to both his friends…and his troublesome stalkers to glared at her with contempt. Arwen and Aragorn were giving tearful good-byes and trying not to gain the unwanted attention of Arwen's father. Bromir was of course saying good-bye and good luck to his fellow country men. Finally, she herself and the pony whatever his name might be, were watching the rest of them…well more like she was and the horse was eating the grass dutifully, though she carefully denied this. Well, until a certain someone grabbed her from behind.

"Our darling spoiled princess!"

" Did you dare thing you could escape us without saying goodbye!"

" How wrong she is then! For we shan't let this one escape!" She turned to see her beloved twins, Elrohir and Elladan. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she hugged her friends.

"I do believe this hug shall be enough?" She answered coyly. The brothers looked to each other and shrugged.

"No….I do believe this will do though!" They both kissed her cheek much like they did to Arwen, to their father and Arwen's surprise. Malucath grimaced and looked to the two.

"….er…no more please…" Malucath said slightly embarrassed but pleased. They grinned at each other and then pulled back. They both turned very stiff and began to sniff, as if mocking a proper elf.

"My darling unofficial sister, we have a good-bye and please come back soon present." Elrohir announced. Elladan was soon to follow.

"Yes, we took some precautions to make sure that the little one is safe and will be whole when she returns." Elrohir nodded in agreement to Elladan's statement.

"We present…" they sang together as the both, in perfect symbiosis, a long box, fit for a sword. She blinked in pure surprise as Elladan slid of the top, to present the sword that she had been admiring for quite some time. She let out an excited squeal, which she would never admit to doing and would deny, and reached for the gorgeous sword. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged gloating looks as Malucath began to inspect the sword with a grin. Behind them, Boromir, Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks of doubt. How could a woman of her stature and naivety handle such a beautifully dangerous weapon?

Malucath gave one last final hug to her friends. It would be quite sometime before she saw them again. The elven lads fawned on her one last time before it was time to leave. She looked to the others while readjusting the pack on her back and placing the sword into beautiful ivy designed hilt before securing it to her belt. It was time to leave, one foot in front of the other and follow the road thru.

Break Break

It had been a full day of walking, her feet her numb because the pain had proved too much and she had sneaked an Advil when the others were going to bathroom. She was feeling that and the cramps. Damn, her period was coming, though luckily she had a plan. While at the elven city, she had used what women did there in order to save pads. She used a rag like other women, but they had a better herb for cramps and such. She would the first months in the journey, use the rags. Because there would be a water source it would be easy to wash her rags. Damn the men for not being cursed with this. Luckily she was regular so there would be no surprises. She had a calendar also to make sure that she would know. Sighing, she stretched out against a tree. She noticed how Gandalf watched her. She turned to him.

"Hmm?"

"What worries you childe?" Gandalf whispered softly.

"Womanly things, nothing that would bother a male," she whispered back. Gandalf nodded sagely. He understood what she was thinking, at least he thought he knew. Woman were troublesome and their thoughts were not as easy to predict. She massaged her calves, trying to remove the knot in them. She watched as the litte'uns made a fire and began to cook. She would cook tomorrow but why not gain some rest before then. She turned to Aragorn, the impromptu leader of watches.

"Who's watching out tonight?" she asked lazily. Aragorn turned from his cleaning of his shiny distracting sword.

"Boromir and Pippin have the first watch, then Gimli and Merry, next Legolas and finally myself and Gandalf." He answered warily. Her eye twitched. They did not trust her to watch at the odd hours in the night. Her body tensed in her anger. She was unaware that the others turned to watch. Knowing that a woman mad was not a good thing, but it would be worse if she fell asleep. Her eye twitched violently but she forced herself to calm down so it was a just an occasional twitch.

"Very well, but in exchange for my rest I shall prepare breakfast for all of you in the morning, that includes the wood and lighting the fire as well." She answered calmly, but coolly. Gandalf's lips twitched in amusement. Aragorn looked torn to say that it would be better for someone else to do that but wisely kept silent. Malucath smiled smugly as she turned to her pack to remove a large folded wool blanket, with cowhide on one of the sides. She placed the cowhide side on the ground and sat within it. Pulling one half over her, she snuggled within the blanket and lied against her pack comfortably. The mischievous little'uns eyed her blanket in undisguised want.

"Where'd ya get that! It looks soft!" Pippin chirped enthusiastically.

"That's quite an unusual design for a blanket," Frodo said eyeing the way it was made. Malucath smiled.

" I made it. The design was something I owned at home." She commented as she looked lovingly at the blanket. It was nice and warm, with the wool also in between the outside lamb's wool and cowhide on the back.

"Where are your homelands?" Merry asked innocently. Gandalf exchanged a look with Aragorn as she answered.

"Home is where the heart is." She answered vaguely. Legolas frowned.

"You are called for?" he asked, wondering if she truly had a fiancée. Malucath smiled coyly.

"By the trees and lands of my home," she teased and then she said no more, ignoring all further questions. Legolas smiled at the response, reminding him of his love for his lands but then frowned when she avoided even that question. What was she hiding?

Break Break

She woke early, very early. It was still dark outside. But she smiled, she grabbed her pack and began to remove a back of what seemed to be flour. She had enough for one loaf today. She stood and looked to Gandalf and Aragorn softly talking as she snuck away with her knives, and bag. She had a dinner to catch and a breakfast for kings.

Three hours later and a tired but grinning girl finished her meal, fried rabbit steaks, scrambled goose eggs and a loaf of bread. She watched one by one as the sleeping members of the fellowship rise from their graves and wander in front of the food. She was careful not to let anyone eat till she had everyone up. The little'uns were the first to rise. Their faces brightening at the meal and then falling when she said they had to wake the others to eat. Legolas was still as handsome and neat as ever when he woke. Not a hair out of place, she noted with a sigh.

"Legolas, you make a woman look horrendous the way you wake!" She gave him a stern but joking look. Legolas smiled at her joke.

"Its down right cruel. Not a hair out of place nor a smudge of dirt on that pretty face of yours, princey." She gave a dramatic sigh.

"Aye lass, tis the cruel curse of the elves, always one of showing the lasses up!" Gimli nodded. "But a real lass is what I want. Non of that fuss!" Malucath nodded and laughed. She then began to spoon out the meal, the atmosphere quickly improving when she got the compliments for the food, including the belches.

Break Break

Malucath sighed as she watched Boromir show of his sword fighting skills by teaching the little midgets how to fight. Malu had been particularly anti-social with Mista Princey-poo and Mista I'm-taken-but-I'm-gonna-flirt. Gimli…well she and Gimli got along well until they got into a particularly heated argument about the uses of women in battle, she won and he was sore about it. She brought out a small wooden bowl, herbs, a heavy spoon like device and small glass bottle. She began to crush the juices out of the herbs with her heavy spoon, by rolling the rounded end back and forth. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the others. Boromir laughed merrily and watched the little ones try to block his light blows.

"Two, Three, Four, Five. Good, very good." He cheered them on. Aragorn watched while smoking his pipe and grinned.

"Move your feet." Aragorn piped in, helping Pippin give a nice blow to Boromir who laughed it off.

"That's good, Pippin." Merry cheered. Pippin blushed but grinned boyishly.

"Thanks." He answered good-naturally. Boromir began to move faster and urged them to do the same. Gimli turned to the smoking Gandalf the grey, who was watching with a glint in his eye.

" 'Anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome." Gimli said trying to cajole the others into what he considered a better route. Gandalf sighed.

"No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other choice." Gandalf said in a firm tone. Gimli opened his mouth to try to interject more but he soon gave up, realizing the wizard would listen no more. Malu turned to notice Legolas looking into the southern distance.

"Come on. Good." Boromir continued to cheer for the midgets when he accidently nicked Pippin's hand. Pippin shouted in surprise while Boromir apologized. Pippin's eyes narrowed and then he grew a mischievous grin. He kicked Boromir in the shin. Boromir cried out in a mix of surprise and pain. Pippin whooped as him a Merry pounced on their prey.

"Get Him!" cried out Merry. Boromir jokingly prepared for a mock battle,

both he and Aragorn laughed at the midgets antics.

"Oh no, littl'uns versus the big'un. Let the battle commence," muttered Malucath as she tried to pull a random strand of hair back into its braid. Gandalf looked to her in amusement.

"Perhaps if you joined them it would be equal." Gandalf commented as he puffed the smoke into unique circles and boats.

"Perhaps, but then it wouldn't be as fun now would it?" She said, making the suggestion that she was an outsider to these people. Gandalf looked to her and shaked his head.

"Do not forget, no matter who you are, you are still welcome and needed." Gandalf said sagely. She gave an unlady-like snort.

"For the Shire!" cried Pippin, "Hold him! Hold him Merry!"

"He got my arm! He got my arm!" cried Merry. Boromir was too busy taking notice of Legolas, who was watching the south with a frown.

"What is that?" Questioned Sam.

"Nothing, it's just a whiff of cloud." Gimli dismissed the strange shadow in the south. Boromir frowned as did Malucath. If only that was a cloud, then everything would be easier, but remember Newton's law, if it can happen it will.

"It's moving fast…against the wind," Boromir noted. Malucath watched the shadow with a frown and began to put her medicines away quickly

"Crebain from Dunland!" cried Legolas. Everyone began to scramble when Aragorn said to hide.

"Merry! Frodo!" called Boromir.

"Come on, come on! Take cover!" Aragorn urged. Malucath hid with Legolas in the bushes, pressed tight against him. Her face was drawn into a frown. She watched as the flock of black birds cawed angrily and circled the hill; before, heading back southward. Once they left, Malucath became painfully aware of how close she pressed herself to Legolas. She ignored it and then began to pull herself out of the brush

"Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras," hissed Gandalf angrily. Malucath's posture slumped. Great, we must deal with freezing temperatures. Heat was okay. Especially since it wasn't humid, she could deal with that easily. Though the cold? Oh god this was going to be miserable.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer:…I don't own LotR..I own the occasional plot…so shush you stupid lawyers.Oh by the way…I actually updated early…aren't you lucky…

Chapter 7

It was cold, it had been cold, and never has she been so happy to have sewn that wonderfully warm blanket. At first when it started to get cold, the other men refused to show weakness by wanting to share her blanket. Course, she had no impediments.

On the first night she had gone up to Legolas, who was sitting against a rock looking into the distance, and sat down right next to him and curled against him. He was warm, damn the elvish body, but at the same time, thank god for his heat. She had yawned and curled like a kitten. The others looked at her in confusion and shock at the bold behavior. Legolas stared at her for a while, but after figuring she wasn't going to do anything but sleep and be warm, he let her curl next to him. Aragorn laughed as did Gandalf. Gandalf had been unusually smug around her since. She ignored it preferring to be oblivious and concentrate on imagining heat warming her body. That and trying to use the right combination of herbs to make that heat pack she had been told of by the elves and her chemistry book. She was brought out of her thoughts by a sound.

"Ungh!" cried Frodo as he rolled to Aragorn's feet. Malucath sighed. The fellowship had gotten slow and clumsy in the cold…well everyone but Legolas of course.

"Frodo!" Aragorn helped Frodo to his feet. Frodo smiled but then started to panic and pat on his shirt, as if looking for something. Then he turned, looking wildly for something. Boromir then noticed the Ring in the snow, and picked it by its chain.

"Boromir," Aragorn said in a soft but commanding tone. Boromir had a far away look on his face as if pondering about the ring.

"It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing… such a little thing." Boromir muttered. Aragorn and Frodo stared at him in alarm.

"Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo." Aragorn said firmly as he grasped his sword firmly. Malucath watched as the tension increased with each breath Boromir took with the ring in his grasp. Then Boromir gained a casual smiling look to Frodo./

"As you wish. I care not." When Boromir spoke, Frodo napped the Ring from him. She could see Boromir stiffen slightly but he tousled Frodo's hair as if he forgave him and hoped he would be as well. Boromir then turned and resumed climbing. Ignoring the others suspicious looks, she hurried next to Boromir.

"Everyone's got a stick up there ass. They're so damn stiff." She said gruffly, hoping to off settle Boromir. It worked. Boromir turned and blinked at her in surprise, She grinned and nudged his side.

"Don't take their tension so seriously. Everyone is so stiff because their lack of sleep since it's so cold. Plus, any man or woman's determination wanes when their tired and shit. Everyone is feeling it…so they took it out on you." She said soothingly but jokingly. " Hey how about we share my blanket, so you can get some sleep?" Boromir blinked at the proposition.

"That's improper-"

"Who gives a shit? Not I. Besides I don't care about my reputation. Even if I am portrayed as a harlot. That isn't the worse thing I could be portrayed as." Boromir stared at her and then sighed.

"You're going to be stubborn about this aren't you?"

"Very. Nice to know you're learning."

"…"

Break Break

The whole situation was rather amusing. When she went up and sat next to Boromir and grabbed his and her cloak to put beneath them to protect them from the snow and placed her large wool blanket over them. Boromir was blushing, which made her laugh.

"No funny ideas hmm?" she teased him. Legolas, as she noticed from the corner of her eyes, stiffened. She laughed it off and snuggled into her cloak and wool blanket, tucking the excess material beneath her.

"Aye, lass getting a bit bolder eh?" Gimli announced with an amused tone. She turned to him with a smile and winked.

"What can I say? They can't resist me." She fluttered her eyes flirtaciously and then laughed. "But seriously, you guys are too stubborn to not ask to share my deliciously warm wool blanket. 'Course, I'm forcing Boromir to share my blanket. He needs sleep to gain some sound of mind." Gandalf was quiet but then nodded. She smirked and curled into her make-shift bed.

"Night Boys, don't let the chill bite ya in the bum."

"Night Lass."

"Good night milady."

"Night Malu!"

"Good night Malu-hin"

"Quel du, Malucath."

It was time for bed.

Break Break

When she woke, she felt an arm wrapped around her waist and someone breathing against her neck in a snore. She tensed in alarm and pushed herself out of the persons arms, luckily they let me go. She turned to see Boromir snoring in her blanket. She laughed softly and scooted out of her blanket while taking her cloak with her. She turned to see Legolas watching her. She gave him a grin and pointed back to Boromir snickering. Legolas did not seem to share her humor. She inwardly rolled her eyes.

"Mani naa ta? (What is it?)" For now on to save time I shall italize my elven

"_Why do you sleep in a man's blankets when he does not speak for you?"_Legolas asked with a frown.

"_Why should it matter if we are or are not meant to get marry? It is cold and he has not slept well. His resolve dwindles and he needs rest to ignore the call!"_She was starting to get annoyed with the medieval customs. Legolas frowned but wisely kept silent.

"_Besides I did not hear any of this from you when I lied next to you!"_

"_But we did not share a blanket!"_

"_No, we shared body heat. I was right next to you!" _ She was steadily getting louder in her anger. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes lightened to silver.

"Perhaps you should start breakfast, Malu-**hin**" Gandalf interrupted, his voice obviously carrying a command. Malucath turned and looked blankly at Gandalf; though her snowy eyes told a different story, showing her anger and frustration. She turned stiffly and began to go through her pack to retrieve the dried jerky. She wisely decided to calm down and just ignore the incident, though she would be cold to that ignorant prince.

Break Break

She had continued the sleeping routine with Boromir…except with one difference. On the second day of waking, she found a surprise in her sheets. Four hobbits had strayed into her territory, snuggling up against her on every side but Boromir's side, who was still wrapping himself around her. It made her laugh, hysterically. Everyone woke with a start to her evil cackles. That shook everyone up. She had been told her cackles were quite evil. Gandalf had stared at her in disbelief. She could still every once and now at night hear him muttering about her laugh.

Though in the current time, it royally sucked. The spoiled prince is somehow able to prance on top of the snow. She found she was having an easier time then the others though. She was not ontop of the snow like Legolas, but she only went in a few inches, instead of the two feet the others had to plow through. When they first discovered that, Gandalf had given her a very contemplating look. The others, in exception of Legolas, were too busy to notice. She and Legolas were currently racing across the snow. She throwing snowballs at him. He had started it, the bastard. His tinkling laughter could be barely heard in the heard in the harsh winds, but then she could hear something else. She froze and tried to listen.

"_Cuiva nwalca Carnirasse; nai yarvaxea rasselya!_"

"Wake up cruel Redhorn? May your horn be bloodstained?" she muttered as she stared at Legolas. Legolas looked at her surprise but told Gandalf.

"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas called to Gandalf.

"Its Saruman!" Gandalf cried. Then the sound of rushing snow filled the air as Malucath ran back to the others and grabbed onto Boromir while muttering shit over and over.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Cried Aragorn.

"No!" Subbornly Gandalf began to chant a counter spell.

"_Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith!_ (Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!)" Voices carried and echoed around the mountain. Lightining flashed on the tip of the Caradhras sending an avalanche onto them. Malucath was dragged by Boromir under the cliff. They were followed by the others. The snowed buried them and Malucath began to panic in her snowy prison. But soon enough, she felt someone grab her wrist and pull her to the surface. She gasped and looked up to the very blue eyes of Legolas. She shook and clinged onto Legolas and looked to the others. Boromir looked to her worriedly but after her nod, he turned to Gandalf.

"We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!" Boromir announced.

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn argued.

"If we cannot pass over a mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria." Pressed Gimli.

"Let the Ring bearer decide," Gandalf said gravely, " Frodo?" Frodo paused and pondered before answering.

"We will go through the mines."

"So be it."

Break Break

It was hot. She was grumpy. The little midgets still stole her bed and she hadn't quite gotten used to it. Boromir still clinged onto her at night, which was odd, he has even become all brotherly during the day.

"Meh…it's hot. The sun is getting its revenge for us leaving it. It has a problem with abandonment." She announced as they walked down the mountain. They could finally see the wonderful sun. The others turned there head to stare at her.

"Aye lass, a jealous temptress that sun of ours," Gimli said gruffly as she looked to Legolas.

"No offense Legolas. But I really think that sun has a thing for you. It's stalking you, growing closer and closer. It's all because you're a pretty boy, damn you." She faked being angry at Legolas. Legolas's baby blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

"I do believe Master Gimli is correct with his statement. The sun is a jealous temptress, but she is also a caring, patient mother." She rose a eyebrow at his statement.

"You make her sound like a married woman." She replied. The other men stared at her and then broke out into laughter. She smiled till she stumbled on the rocks suddenly.

"FRIGGING SONFA-!" She cried out angrily as she stared at her cut knees. She scowled and then stood up shakily. The others look at her amused.

"Miss Dae seems to have quite a poisonous tongue on her." Sam said shaking his finger threateningly at her. She laughed, suddenly reminded of a Batman movie.

"Call me Poison, Poison Ivy," she drawled in a seductive voice. She faked a giggle and a wink at the poor blushing Sam. She started to walk again with the others, being careful on the rocky trail. It was getting worse by the minute. Her balance wasn't saving her at all.

"OW!" Again she fell, but twisting so she fell on her rump and back flipped into Aragorn. He looked at her and sighed.

"I don't think you are going to be able to cross this. Let me hel-"

"Hell no."

"What?" Poor confused Aragorn, he didn't understand the meaning of no.

" Generally Hell no, means I won't do a single thing you are asking of me."

"…" Before she even realized it, she was flopped across his back staring at the back of his calves.

"….You are horrible." She grumbled.

"Very. Nice to know you're learning."….He used her words against her…bastard.

Break Break

To her surprise, they even still continued, the hobbits continue to surround about her, and Boromir still clinged onto her at night. That puzzled her. Why would they stay? Is it habit? Well whatever it was, it was like waking to cats on you. They were everywhere, and Boromir still hugged her to him at night. Though it started to become more of paternal or brotherly way. He watched over her when they traveled and was sure to not her fall; but he backed off when she seemed fine. Legolas…was still not talking to her, even though he saved her at the Cahadras , but he occasionally joked with her. Other then that, she had no conversations with the irritable prince. This aggravated her, extremely. Gimli was talking and joking with her; though Gandalf was ignoring her for Frodo. What ever! He can be like that! Aragorn…was being Aragorn, a little bit arrogant about what she could and couldn't do. He even, when the trail was particularly rocky, threw her over his shoulder after she refused his help…damn him, that was humiliating. She had screeched at him afterward, tha' damned bastard. An excited cry interrupted her thoughts.

"The walls of Moria!" Gimli cried in awe. They walked by the side of the lake, which both her and Frodo accidently slipped into.

"Now, let's see. Ithildin -- it mirrors only starlight and moonlight." Gandalf said pondering as when an convienent moon shined and illuminated the door.

"It reads "The doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter." Gandalf stared at the walls and thought deeply, but Merry voiced the question in the hobbits head.

"What do you suppose that means?"

"Oh it's quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open," Gandalf answered arrogantly.

"_Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen!_ (Gate of the Elves open now for me!)" Nothing happened. Malu yawned boredly.

"Well apparently you are no friend of theirs." Gandalf turned to glare at her while pushing the door with his staff. She grinned at him cheekily.

"Love you too Gandalf, daaahling," she drawled. Time passed quickly as Gandalf continued to try to open the doors. She gave him several suggestions which he ignored. Of course, the first one was the one she meant, after he ignored her she started to get snippy. Everyone was boredly hanging around the door or near the lake, which she stayed away from because of its murky waters.

"_Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa!_ (Gate of Elves listen to my word, Threshold of Dwarves!)" Cried the exasperated wizard. Aragorn was meanwhile unhitching Bill's bridle.

"The mines are no place for a pony, even one so brave as Bill." Malu blinked, so that was that stupid pony's name. Ohhhhhh! Sam gave a very sad but childish good-bye. Aragorn patted his shoulders and reassured Sam softly. Merry and Pippin were so bored they began to throw rocks into the lake, until Aragorn stopped them with a warning.

"Do not disturb the water." Meanwhile Gandalf gave up to be only upstaged by Frodo, the midget. He figured it was a riddle and they had to say mellon.The stone doors began to slowly swing open. Gimli immediately began boasting to Legolas.

"Soon master elf you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" But he was shortly saying different, the mine was filled with the scent of death and decay.

"This is no mine, it's a tomb!" Malucath stepped closer to Boromir as he announced his opinion. Carrion is icky. Stay away from the ick and let the arrogant man take care of it. Less ick for her.

"Oh! No! Noooo!" Gimli called out filled with anguish and sorrow.

"Goblins!" Legolas cried out after inspecting an arrow. Everyone began to go into panic mode, including her as she drawed her long sword.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here," Boromir talked anxiously. Suddenly, Malucath heard something stir in the water.

"FUCK!" She yelled as she ran towards the midgets, whom were in danger. Though the others left for different reasons.

"Now get out of here, get out!"

"NO DON'T!"…it was too late, something in the water grabbed Frodo, hanging him in the air.

"Frodo!" The other midgets cried out in horror.

"Strider!" Sam called as he hacked at the tentacles. "GET OFF HIM!" The watcher let go of Frodo for a moment and retreated; before many tentacles flew out of boiling water. The tentacles slapped around the hobbits before grabbing the yelping Frodo. Legolas began to shooting at the tentacles; she followed behind with Boromir and Aragorn, slicing at the creature. In its pain, it began to throw around Frodo wildly. Boromir managed to slice the main tentacle holding Frodo's leg. He fell wildly. Malucath came behind Boromir and caught him. She smiled at him as she ran to shore.

"Hello, Frodo-boyo. Hope this creature isn't bringing you down." She saw Aragorn and Boromir running ahead of her. She pouted and hurried as Gandalf called out.

"Into the Mines!"

"Legolas! Aim for his eye! Come on!" Called out Boromir. Legolas followed his advice. The creature pulled back into the water, bleeding perfusely.The others ran inside Moria as Gandalf with help of the other men assisted. Slabs of rocks dropped ontop of them and the roof of the passageway collapses. Total darkness fell causing Malu to flinch. Well, until a beam of light emits from Gandalf's handy walking stick.

"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." Malucath put Frodo down carefully, who smiled gratefully to her. She shrugged and pointed to Boromir.

"Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed." Gandalf continued. Frodo and myself hurried to catch up to the others, carefully picking their way through. At the end of whatever sort of room they were in before, they entered a giant cavern with a very serpentine walkway. Malucath scratched her sweaty neck and sighed.

"Great…I get to rediscover my fear of heights." She said as she noted the steep steps on the side of the cavern. Both Gimli and Legolas stared at her. Both used to heights of these sorts. Pippin grinned.

"Finally something the great Malucath fears!"Pippins ejaculation made her blink and cock her head to the side.

"There are a great number of things I fear…I just happen to be lucky and not have any…episodes on the way here…" This caused Boromir to frown and Aragorn to raise an eyebrow.

"Episodes."

"To be frank…I have a fear of all insects and things that fly…I don't like snakes or frogs…Though I do like lizards and mice" This caught the others by surprise. Gandalf reacted first by giving a hearty laugh, quickly followed by Gimli, Aragorn and the little'uns. Legolas and Boromir simply stared for a bit longer and laughed with them. She scowled and sniffed in distain.

"What?" Aragorn soon responded to her question.

"It seems we forgotten the…characteristics of a female." She scowled at his bias-ness…but it was mostly true though.

"…shush…" She pushed foreward and began to climb to stairs. Behind her she heard a shuffling as if someone lost step and Merry crying out…apparently Pippin shared her occasional clumsiness.


End file.
